Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Take Nothing For Granite

  • All New Hampshire all the time today. Hillary and Mitt say, "Don't tread on me!" I'm watching about seven hours of coverage on MSNBC tonight -- the following stuff is being written as I watch, but I'm not going so far as to time-stamp it.
  • The polls close at 8:00, and MSNBC won't give any turnout information or exit polling about the candidates until then. In the immortal words of Ryan Reynolds in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle: "But why?" Anyone else remember Election Night, 2000? The networks began calling the swing state, Florida, for not-yet-Nobel-Laureate/Oscar-Winner Al Gore. But the voting hadn't closed in the panhandle. Fox News, anchored by a Bush cousin, made the unprecedented move of granting screen time to the Texas Governor and his family. You know, Fox News, created by Roger Ailes, who was Dubya's father's media consultant during the 1988 election. I don't think MSNBC, or anyone, wants any part of either side of that kind of post-election fallout.
  • Hillary plays underdog. Clinton-friend Dede Myers told Olbermann and Matthews that Hillary was never a front-runner for the nomination. Olbermann and Matthews stammered about it for the next ten minutes.
  • I like when the anchors say that their "decision desk" says it's too close to call. What do you think it looks like behind-the-scenes? A guy sitting with his feet up on a big wood desk that has a plastic sign that reads "Decision Desk". A producer stands there, saying, "Can we?" Guy behind desk: "No." "Can we?" "No."
  • Bailey launches an ill-fated assault on my stash of animal crackers. He sits there, politely, and then unleashes The Surge, attacking my hand. He may have won an elephant or two, but he is suffering bad feelings on the home front.
  • Polls closed at 8. MSNBC and CNN call McCain at 8:10. Sucks to be Romney's staff. He'll still have all of his money. They're going to have to find new jobs. Maybe not yet, but soon, and for the rest of their lives.
  • Right after the call, they go to Romney HQ, where some guy is performing on-stage with a guitar. Reporter Ron Allen ends by saying, "Just some guy playing by himself on the stage." Olbermann snickers and says, "An apt image at this point for the Romney campaign."
  • Enjoy this piece from The New Republic about how crazy Ron Paul really is. Paul says that he was never involved in the newsletter in any way, though the reporter said on "Tucker" yesterday that Paul had spoken at a pro-Secession convention.
  • While still not calling the Democrat side, the Decision Desk did just push an intern towards Chinese over pizza.
  • Let's say you were at a friend's party and you were standing by the snacks, when some guy next to you introduced himself and said his name was Mitt. Wouldn't you just smile and nod and automatically not trust him?
  • Romney speaks and his crowd cheers his second-place finish heartily. "Two silvers," he says. Second place is first loser. But wasn't Billy Carter already the First Loser?
  • Actually a really good speech by Mitt. He did have some language that sounded like he was setting the stage for his departure from the race at some point. And thanks to Howard Dean -- because of him, every time a candidate calls out a list of upcoming states, I literally have to yell "BEYAHH!" out loud.
  • Here's the uncensored Dave Chapelle skit I reference above -- the funniest of the horrible "Lost Episodes".
  • McCain comes out to "Gonna Fly Now" as Ed Rendell attempts to jump through his TV screen. He's coming off as a good guy, humble and grandfatherly. A little senile too, to be fair.
  • And quite wooden, as it continues. He's really not a great speaker.
  • The crowd starts chanting, "Michigan! Michigan!" Can't we take it easy on the poor Ohio State fans after last night?
  • Was this John McCain's Howard Dean moment? Awful, awful speech and very badly misread. Bobby D has a word or three for him. Lots of NSFW stuff tonight.
  • Edwards coming onto the stage to a Chevy ad. It's "This Is Our Country" by John Mellencamp! America isn't too sick of that song.
  • And finally, at 10:30, Hillary is projected the winner. So after two states, nothing is clear for either party. Which is best for everyone.

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