The Most Suspenseful Idol Elimination Ever

Random Thoughts and Dumb Jokes:

• I can't figure out how they're able to fill up an hour on elimination night. We were this close to seeing video of Justin Guarini eating a delicious snack.
• Overheard quote from the Archuleta concert in Utah: "His songs were great, but why are they only 90-seconds long?"
• When Syesha was talking to her high school, they flashed to the crowd for a second and you could see someone yawning. No joke, it was a guy on the left side of the screen with a goatee.
• I'm not saying that the special election in Mississippi was a harbinger, but David Archuleta changed his party to Libertarian just to be safe. Never mind, he's too young to vote.
• After David Cook didn't bounce the ball in front of the plate on his Royals first pitch, the team told him that if the singing thing doesn't work out, he's their fifth starter. Brett Tomko, I'm sorry to say that you're leaving us tonight.
• I'm fairly certain that I got a ticket for running Fantasia's hair on Montrose Road last week.
• Was Archuleta crying at his school because he was happy for the crowd or because he was happy that it was the first time he'd been on campus and not been stuffed in a locker?
• In other news, who else is excited for John Edwards' plan for the two Americas to join together into one Voltron-like Super America? Form Blazing Gateway Arch!
• How many votes must Syesha have been behind the guys? Seacrest didn't say once that it was a close one. That by itself took away any suspense there might have been for me.
• How about Olbermann getting so worked up during his Special Comment tonight that he almost went into tears? What the President said about golf was incredibly stupid (and apparently somewhat of an exaggeration, at best), but I wasn't expecting that kind of emotion about it.
• In closing, we haven't seen a battle between two Davids like this since the Bible, when in 1 Kings, the evil King David (you could tell because he had a goatee) tried to conquer Jerusalem. You might remember that it came down to Solomon figuring out which was the right one by making them each do the hand signals to "David Melech Yisrael". When the evil David touched his hand to the wrong elbow, it was all over and Solomon got to satisfy his weird slicing-stuff-in-half fetish.