Idol Chatter

You knew this show made a ton of money because it's relatively cheap to put on, but now they're apparently making the stage out of papier mache? It's collapsing like Taylor Hicks' career. Twenty years ago, did we ever think we'd see Slash on any TV show, much less a version of Star Search? Yikes. Anyways, here we go:

• Adam Lambert, singing Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love": I can see Adam as a Broadway meets Robert Plant-type, so I was sort of psyched to hear this. Problem: as usual, more Broadway than Robert Plant. Can't explain exactly, just that his voice is missing some edge. Plant is obviously flamboyant, but he's sort of gritty flamboyant. Adam doesn't have the grit. And the end... Ugh. I'm starting to see why people like him, but he's pulling one over on them -- Randy says nobody's thinking about Broadway? I'm thinking about a Mama Mia/Movin' Out-style Zeppelin Broadway show. It would, of course, be entitled Stairway!
• Allison Iraheta, singing Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby": Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please never interview her again. Let's pretend she has some weird disability where she's mute, but can somehow sing. But sing, she can. Her voice is like Joplin's in the same way that Lambert's is like Plant's. Allison can sing the blues pretty well for a 17-year-old, but she's missing some sort of edge. She sort of looked like Punk Miley tonight and maybe she sounded a little like Bluesy Miley. So Muddy Miley Ramone was pretty good. I don't think anyone would qualify as my favorite anymore, because I don't really like any of them, but she's good.
• Kris Allen & Danny Gokey, singing Styx's "Renegade": I freaking hate Styx. Isn't "Come Sail Away" the worst rock song of all time? This one isn't any good either -- it doesn't go anywhere. The two guys were a bit rough at the beginning, but the harmonizing at the end was solid. I suppose they forced Kris to do something up tempo and it was passable, but I can't believe him as a rock singer. I'm starting to think that Danny looks like what would come from a Robert Downey and David Faustino procreation. What a child that would be!
• Kris Allen, singing "Come Together" by The Beatles: I suppose he couldn't sing anything with any tempo on his own. Huge surprise that he'd do something this soft. He's just way too happy. Lennon's ashes just formed into a body, just so it could turn in its grave. Actually, Lennon would probably be too stoned to care. Eh, kind of boring. Probably Kris' last performance.
• Danny Gokey, singing Aerosmith's "Dream On": Can he hit the notes? Wow, what was that? I was really digging the beginning. When we got to the high part, he almost got there and then... Good God, that's Howard Dean's music! Pyahhhh!
• Kara said that "Cryin'" and "Crazy" were early Aerosmith as opposed to "Dream On". Girl needs to get fired. Now. That's inexcusable.
• Allison and Adam sang Foghat's "Slow Ride", which is a Guitar Hero III song, but otherwise boring. What's with the duos picking songs with weak hooks? They couldn't have done something like "Paradise City" with Slash mentoring them? Was this our final two? Maybe, don't know if I actually care.
• Kara really did say that "Cryin'" and "Crazy" were "early Aerosmith". She actually said that. Maybe, since she's coming back next year for sure, she can actually learn something about music history if she's going to be on a show that has people singing old songs. It could help. She needs to be ready for when people sing early U2 songs like "Get On Your Boots".

Has to be Kris. Gokey wasn't too good, but he carries over a lot of good will.