Thanks For... (Pt. 3)

I thought about going sappy and thanking family and friends on the holiday, but I think the only sincerity I want to portray on this blog is anger, where necessary. Besides, I hope it's obvious that I'm grateful to them all 365. So:

• Thanks to climate change, if I can pick up where I left off yesterday, for the downright warm Thanksgiving day. If Irving Berlin where alive right now, he might be writing "I'm Dreaming of a Chilly Christmas."
• Thanks to my co-worker, Captain Oblivious, for some portion of the success I've had over the past few months. Their inability to carry their full share has led to me jumping in, since it all has to get done, and subsequent accolades for my leadership and teamwork.
• Thanks to my wife's cousin for describing in detail the most horrifying scenes in The Exorcist after I told him that I've always been too scared to finish the whole movie.
• Thanks to K-Mart, EB Games, and other stores, for letting me know the actual price of Wii games. In their Black Friday ads, they advertise games at full price!
  
• Thanks to the government and its war in Iraq for the 3,873 (confirmed) seats that will be empty at this and all future Thanksgiving dinners.