Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Alex P. Keaton is rolling in his grave

I have heard a number of plausable theories as to what happened to the missing Air France plane ranging from lightning strikes to a flock of birds to interference from a drug airplane. However, I think it is pretty obvious what happened to the flight. The passengers from Air France 447 are currently on an island searching for the Others and avoiding swarm monsters and polar bears. The plane went down due to a system failure from the electromagnetic field at the swan station. Apparently someone didn't put in the 6 numbers every few minutes like the Dharma Initiative computer had demanded. Brazilian rescuers won’t find the plane because the island onto which the plane crashed has mysteriously vanished and moved to a different time and place. All the passengers are doing just fine (as long as you consider living in 1979 fine). We will be able to find out how they are doing next Wednesday night at 9PM. This is a situation where life imitates art instead of art imitating life. I can't believe no one else has picked up on this theory.

The summer TV schedule really stinks. There is just nothing on. Flipping through 250 channels, I can’t even find one show that mildly piques my curiosity. Thankfully, I still have 25 episodes of Amanda Bynes’ What I Like About You on my DVR. Yes, you read that right.

Speaking of TV shows that are not on the air anymore, I was in Listrani's last week, a small Italian Restaurant in Arlington. Performing a stand up routine later that night was Marc Price who played Irwin "Skippy" Handelman on Family Ties. How far has your career fallen when you go from playing a sidekick on a very popular sitcom to doing standup at a 10 table italian restaurant on a Wednesday night?

I can’t believe that I graduated from high school 15 years ago this week. I feel really old.

Free food alert!!
1) Friday is National Donut Day. I know Dunkin Donuts is giving away Donuts on Friday with the purchase of a beverage and I read Krispy Kreme may also be giving out free donuts. Mmmm...donuts
2) Friendly’s is giving away free ice cream Saturday afternoon until 5.

Am I the last person in the world to get the hidden message in Britney Spears’ new song “If You Seek Amy”? I don't know how I missed it.

The situation with GM is a bit of a catch 22. They are going out of business because everyone thinks they can’t sell any cars and they can’t sell any cars because everyone thinks they are going to go out of business. IMHO, the automaker’s lobbyists charged a large fee to protect the Big 3’s low mileage standards. If GM or Ford had put that money into researching how to improve their mileage capacity instead of fighting to keep the status quo, we might not be in this mess.

19 comments:

angie said...

Oh Josh, there you go again, challenging my ability to restrain myself from commenting on most things in your posts! So instead of a comment, let me ask a question -- just how exactly do you figure that GM developing/building more fuel efficient cars would have prevented the company's collapse??

Josh said...

Dude, it was Steve!

angie said...

Ooops! Sorry about totally missing that!!!

Ok, Steve, I pose my question to you instead...?

Steve said...

I think it was in the original post. Stop paying the lobbyists and put our saved money into an actual product.

Marissa said...

Because people like me who have been raised their whole life on energy efficient Japanese cars won't even consider buying an American car because they don't even try.

angie said...

No offense, but neither of those arguments actually make sense. I don't mean that those actions aren't things that you could want the companies to pursue, but to think that either would have actually prevented them from going bankrupt is ridiculous.

Josh said...

I have to agree with Angie to some extent. I think it has more to do with America's inefficiency when compared to Japan back in the 1980s. I feel, like with the newspapers, that this has been coming for a while.

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