Saturday, February 6, 2010

Worst of the Worst: #18, The Master of Disguise

I'm making this quick so I can get this movie out of my head. Dana Carvey plays Pistachio Disguisey (actual name), the heir to a family that can change themselves into anything. His father, played by James Brolin, is kidnapped by a villain, played by Brent Spiner, and forced to turn into Michael Johnson, Jesse Ventura, and Jessica Simpson (played by the actual people) to steal things like the Constitution and the Liberty Bell. Carvey then needs to learn the art of the Disguisey family, become a Master of Disguise and rescue his parents. Parents, because his mother is also kidnapped. She is played by Edie McClurg. As an old Italian family, Brolin, McClurg, and Carvey all put on really awful stereotypical Italian accents. EDIE MCCLURG PUTS ON A FAKE ITALIAN ACCENT!!!

This is the twenty-second movie I've seen on this list, to add to many bad movies I've seen throughout my life. As I've worked on this "project," I've become more serious about evaluating these movies against each other and for what they are. This movie is so lazily put-together, has so many continuity errors (we're talking dozens), is so poorly written, is so disastrously unfunny. So take this as my gospel: The Master of Disguise is the worst movie I've ever seen. It's on Starz On Demand, so you can watch it for yourself if you want (the one on Netflix Watch Instantly is messed up, with the sound not matching the video). I almost suggest you do see it to see how bad cinema can get. Again: this may change as I watch more, but I say this for right now, during Snowbliteration '10, on the early morning of February 6th, 2010. The Master of Disguise is the worst movie I've ever seen.

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