Idol Chatter

I've decided to throw my support behind Didi Benami on the girls' side. It seems likely that she's of Israeli descent and I thought she was pretty good yesterday, so there you go. As for tonight, with Canada beating Russia badly, it's time to hit Idol, fast-forward past Kara again, and see if the guys can be as disappointing as the girls. Off we go:

• Todrick Hall, singing Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone": Quite a bold song choice. "Making the song your own" doesn't mean taking the words and changing everything else. I mean, bold, but it was a mess. A hot mess, as Ellen arrived from 2002 to let us know someone else was on last night's episode.
• Aaron Kelly, singing Rascal Flatts' "Here Comes Goodbye": Full disclosure: I've hated this kid all along. He's fake and he's the kind of performer I hate on this show. Simon liked him, but I wouldn't know. I fast-forwarded through his song after like two seconds.
• Jermaine Sellers, singing Oleta Adams' "Get Here": I actually heard on Twitter before starting the show that he was bad and obnoxious. Another song that everyone's sung in auditions and the second of the three tonight that I've fast-forwarded through. Oy, this isn't going well. Ellen looks like a blond Aaron Kelly, right? Yeah, I've resorted to that at this point. And afterwards, he thought Ryan was asking him if he made up with Michael Jackson? Because he forgot the name of the bandleader that he snapped at? Oh, man. He's the Coach of American Idol. I'm ready for him to start talking about slaying the Big Mike dragon.
• Tim Urban (No!!!!! Not the guy who never deserved to be there!!!!!), singing One Republic's "Apologize": Considering my three favorites this year are guys, I really hate a lot of the other ones. I hate Brunette Ellen the most, but this kid is close behind. Not only can he not sing worth a lick, but that vacant I'm-trying-to-be-sincere stare into the camera is off-putting. Well, at least I didn't fast-forward through this one, but only because I wanted to see how god-awful it could get. Answer: less Hermes-awful and more Zeus-awful. He sang more like Urban Meyer and less like Keith Urban. Simon killed him and I love that.
• Joe Munoz, singing Jason Mraz's "You and I Both": Why is he angry at me? He's glowering at me even though he's singing a sweet song. What did I do? I only hated the other guys. I think it's the eyebrows. Seriously, dude, I just thought you were safe and boring, not that bad. Please don't be mad.
• Tyler Grady, singing The Guess Who's "American Woman": Oh, man, they had to remind me about that scarecrow who guest judged. And he did the Lenny Kravitz version? Oh, f*** him. I used to like you, dude, but we're no longer friends. I'm totally Joe Munoz at you. So, so bad. What the hell is going on this season? Maybe the judges said the girls were so good because they suck less than the guys?
• Lee DeWyze, singing Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars": I hate when people choose songs like this or from One Republic or The Fray. Anytime I hear one of these types of songs I expect doctors in Seattle to be sleeping with everyone in sight. Not dynamic enough a song for this show. The bad pitch didn't help. What an awful show they're putting on tonight.
• John Park, singing Billie Holiday's "God Bless the Child": I always like the crooners, so I'm inclined to him. He's definitely got the best voice so far of the night, but he looks really uncomfortable on stage. It was okay, maybe my favorite of the night so far, which is a seriously low bar. The word of the season so far is: "boring".
• Gotta say: Ellen has not been that good so far. She's been about as dynamic as every singer.
• Michael "Big Mike" Lynche, singing Maroon 5's "This Love": The first of my three favorite people this year. Well, come on, he's one of everyone's favorites. My wife says, "It's too fast for him," and she's totally right. I think he's got the goods, but this was very manic. Also the whole Aaron Neville one-button-too-low shirt is not working for me. Disappointing, but what's new this week? I did like when he said, "Come on, The Dawg!" Funny stuff. He's a shoo-in for the Top 12 because everyone likes him so much.
• Alex Lambert, singing James Morrison's "Wonderful World": MULLET ALERT! MULLET ALERT! I don't even care how he sings at this point! His singing is awful, okay, but I can't help but stare at the mullet. He's going home faster than you can say, "Why did the producers put him in the middle of the three most talented guys when he was this bad?" It was actually the worst performance of the night, which is shocking, considering the ball of turd that Tim Urban hurled at us.
• Casey James, singing Bryan Adams' "Heaven": We're into the two most talented people in this year's competition and my two favorites. This guy can seriously play guitar. He was a little too generous with the vibratto and the whole Kara thing is Chris Hansen-ish, but this was the best performance of the season so far. Still a little oomph-less, but we're getting towards the right direction, plus Ellen was finally funny. The Ryan "HR" line was killer.
• Andrew Garcia, singing Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, We're Goin' Down": By far, the best singer in the competition sings, by far, my favorite song so far. First time I've gotten excited for a performance this year. Look, he's the best. We know that. I agree with Simon that it was a bit indulgent. My fear is that he's going to sing every song in this style and that will get annoying fast.

Urban and Lambert are so gone. So, so gone.