Of Course, Of Course

• The Monologue:
• The president got together with Crowley and Gates for some beers this evening. They sent an intern out to grab the drinks, but the intern was only 19. Luckily, Tokay Liquors was only a few blocks away.
• They must have had a lot, because Crowley ended up peeing behind a tree in the White House garden. I mean, who does that?
• The best joke name for the meeting that someone submitted to Cilizza yesterday, by the way, was "Yes, Three Cans!"
• A man in South Carolina was arrested for having sex with a horse. To be fair, he only saw it from the front. He thought he was having an affair with Matthew Broderick's wife.
• No, that was mean. Let me try again. A man in South Carolina was arrested for having sex with a horse. He only saw its huge muscles and thought he was having sex with Manny Ramirez and/or David Ortiz.
• One more time. A man in South Carolina was arrested for having sex with a horse. He was really eager to become a member of the Canadian Mounting Police.
• A man in South Carolina was arrested for having sex with a horse. They caught him as he was trying to get the horse to talk dirty to him by lining the inside of its mouth with peanut butter.
• Okay, last one, I swear. Police in South Carolina today arrested a man when neighbors called in to complain of someone down the street yelling, "Who's Wilbur?!? Who's Wilbur?!? My name is Rodell!"
• Random Pop Culture:
• Erin Andrews called 911 because of some paparazzi outside of her house. Not really notable, except for the comedy of her insisting to the operator that she's become very famous lately and the operator not knowing who she is.
• Sorry about the Chipmunks last night. Hope this much better news makes up for it. My favorite network sitcom and my favorite cable sitcom together? Awesome.
• As I continue to work on the list that will become next week's posts (I've so far ranked 100 of the 383 possible contenders), let's think about other great movie decades. The '90s are obviously great, but I'm going to throw out the '70s as maybe the best. The two good Godfather movies, Patton, The Sting, Star Wars, Jaws, Annie Hall, Rocky, and more.
• Random Movie Scene:
• You know this one will be on the top 100. Can you imagine how that horse must have felt after it was molested? His sad eyes. Lifeless. Like a doll's eyes.