Sunday, October 10, 2010

In The Funny Pages

Now that we know that Christine O'Donnell thinks The Flintstones (Creationism) and Pinky and the Brain (mice with human brains) are realistic portrayals, we looked deeper to find how she may vote in Washington based on other similar beliefs:
  • Underwater exploration is vital to understanding our world. Think of the things we can learn from the society of ocean-floor-dwelling creatures with tubes sticking out of their heads.
  • There are still parts of the world that haven't been fully mapped out. It's quite likely that we can find a new source of gold by finding the stash housed in a building in the center of the town run by sentient ducks.
  • The only way to catch Bin Laden is by inserting one agent, well-equipped to carry out the mission, deep in enemy territory. He should be able to overcome any obstacle through the use of tools like a helicopter in his hat and skis that pop out of his shoes.
  • Workers can be incentivized to excel at work, even on hated Mondays, through the liberal use of lasagna.
  • The threats to our nation require a new kind of defense, such as robot lions. If needed, as the esteemed senator from Delaware, she will even form the head.

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