Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Idol Chatter

Just when you thought the girls were awful! I watched some of the worst basketball I have seen in a long time in the NEC title game tonight. Robert Morris won despite shooting 7-17 from the free throw line. That was prettier than this is going to be. Now, as Ryan Seacrest starts out by touching all of the guys in turn, making them "candidates" (am I getting my shows mixed up?), let's get it on:
  • Lee DeWyze, singing Owl City's "Fireflies": This wins for song I liked when I first heard it until I realized that it's really annoying. When this guy sings it really off-key, it's less annoying than unlistenable. I actually didn't watch the guys episode last week and I'm not really regretting that. I want to move to Owl City. Everyone there is wise and can tell you how many licks it takes to get to the middle of a Tootsie Roll pop (Answer: 3).
  • Alex Lambert, singing Ray LaMontagne's "Trouble": Okay, I missed Alex's mullet last week. I had heard he was better last week, but he really can sing. Maybe a little nasal for this song. Pitchy at the very beginning and very end. I think it would be really awesome if he had a dragon tattoo on the back of his neck that he uses his mullet to cover.
  • Tim Urban, singing (oh my God, why did they let him sing this) Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah": I mean, how could they let the least talented person on this entire season sing this song? Tim: "I want to sing 'Hallelujah'." Producer: "No, you're not good enough and stop staring vacantly at me like that." And then he knocked it out of the park. Nice job, and with the second-straight '70s haircut of the night, no less. He's not going to get better than that. He should have finished, dropped the guitar, and walked off the stage, never to return. But no, he'll be back next week. They all will. FML.
  • Andrew Garcia, singing Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a Bottle": He did the Andrew Garcia version of a good pop song. It must be really annoying to work at the Starbucks near Andrew's house. "Oh, crap, here comes that guy who orders his venti latte by playing acoustic guitar and singing sincerely." And it goes on and on: "Yes, you can have your dry cleaning, but, for Christ's sake, either talk to me or use a backup band and a faster tempo!"
  • Casey James, singing Keith Urban's "You'll Think of Me": Why would anyone do a song that Tim Urban wrote? Oh. Just kidding you, Keith. We love Keith Urban because he sleeps with a pale robot. Casey's good. This night has been more enjoyable than I thought it would be. He's got a little country vibe and a little Adam Duritz in his voice. Still too much vibrato, but this was good.
  • Aaron Kelly, singing Lonestar's "I'm Already There": Finally, I wasn't disappointed! This was a piece of s***.
  • Todrick Hall, singing Queen's "Somebody to Love": Remember when Elliot Yamin sang the hell out of this a few years ago? Todrick's just very Broadway; I don't buy that he's sincere about feeling a song. His voice is okay (a little pitchy tonight especially at the crucial beginning), but he just comes off as phony. Mugging for the camera, worried more about his showmanship than his connection to the song. Not a fan. I don't get where the judges are coming from this year. I guess they have to pump up the kids to try to sell something about the show, but damn. At least Simon busted out a "having said that" for my amusement.
  • Michael Lynche, singing Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work": Why would anyone try falsetto like that? Why would anyone try to do a Maxwell song (it was his cover version that Big Mike was singing)? I like Big Mike, of course, but this wasn't that great for me. Certainly not good enough for me to understand why Kara started crying?!? The falsetto and facial expression at the end made me think about Kenan Thompson singing that song. That can't be a good sign.

Lee and Aaron? I haven't been good at picking this year. Whatever. In memory of today's (unsurprising) celebrity death, I'll just say: "One thing about watching American Idol this year I never could stomach. All the damn contestants."

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