All God's Children -- Go Into The Light!

• The Monologue:
• Shaun White, as if he had a choice, doesn't like his "Flying Tomato" nickname anymore. He's suggesting people call him "The Animal". He doesn't get to pick, but the Rob Schneider theme is cool, so his Delta Tau Chi name will heretofore be "The Hot Chick".
• This headline made me think about how unfair it is that Salami played in the food poisoning era. Yes, I totally stole that joke's concept.
• Analysis: Is this headline as stupid as I think it is?
• Random Pop Culture:
• This has been the worst audition season of American Idol that I can remember. They're showing almost no real talent and they're spending half the show with sob stories about contestants. I counted two people this week that I thought could actually sing at a level befitting the show. Also, Kara's tan is horrifying.
• Neil Patrick Harris was great as a guest judge and Katy Perry was pretty good. The other two? Why did Avril Lavigne wear a hoodie that had horns on it and has she sold any albums in the last ten years? And Joe Jonas? He seems like a bright kid with a winning personality!
• In the pantheon of bad side plots, where does the Dana Walsh/ Jenny Scott one on this year's 24 rank? They're wasting Starbuck! If they wanted to fill time that badly, they could just run a test pattern or something and pretend that the cameras broke for a few minutes every hour.
• I'm really getting excited for Lost. Five days to go.
• Random Movie Scene:
• Even though he was a recluse and every kept forgetting that he was actually alive, people are going to mourn the death of J.D. Salinger. Of course, Catcher in the Rye was not only a seminal book in many people's (including my own) development but, without it, we would never have had Bob Uecker's Catcher in the Wry. However, I'm going to dodge Salinger and instead mourn the death of Zelda Rubinstein. Who? Four words: "This house is clean." Man, I love this movie.