Nic Cage, Funny Man

• The Monologue:
• There's no joke on this one. It's just a big... huh? You can't just look to see if she has an innie or an outie?
• A radio station planted a guy with an assault rifle outside of an Obama rally in Phoenix. Seriously, can I make jokes about anything? What the hell is the world coming to?
• The Amish have a newspaper and refuse to put it online. That might just work. We all know that every other paper has started to go under after publishing on the web.
• Random Pop Culture:
• Going into this year's Hard Knocks, you had to know that Chad Johnson (yes, Johnson) would be funny, but who knew that Carson Palmer would be, too? His whole Gatorade bit is great.
• By the way, if you're a Cincinnati fan, you had to love hearing a coach say after their preseason game that they are "lacking in talent at some positions so we have to play with more energy." Another long year for the Bengals.
• Have I said anything before about Michael and Michael Have Issues? It's really funny, you can find it on On Demand.
• If the Ravens offensive line is half as good in real life as they are in Madden 10, then it should be a really fun year. I found the button combination that lets me have Flacco eat a sandwich and read the Amish paper while he's waiting for Mason to get open.
• Random Movie Fun:
• Nicolas Cage movies are generally bad, so I try to avoid them for the most part. One that I won't watch is The Wicker Man, which I guess is some sort of weird horror thing. Why watch it and hate it when you can instead watch this two-minute montage of scenes. It's hilarious. It's fun to not know what the movie is about and try to guess why he would be dressing like a bear and screaming, "My eyes!!! My eyes!!!!" at the end: