Getting With The Zero

I was feeling a little under the weather today, so I decided to work from home. What does that mean? Well, I actually do work, probably more than usual since I have nobody to schmooze with and I don't have a commute where I can't work. Putting that aside though, there is some crucial TV with Saved by the Bell on TBS from 8AM to 9AM and, of course, Maury from 1PM to 3PM on wherever it airs (I think it's CW50 here in DC). I've expressed my love for Maury many times. The rest of the day is a mish-mash of History, Discovery, and whatever else looks good (Saved by the Bell is on again from 3 to 4 on The N, but it's hard to go there after two hours of paternity tests and cursing). SoapNet starts showing 90210 at 5, so that's the sign that your day is winding down. The worst part of the day is always around 4PM, where there's nothing on TV if you don't watch Oprah and you get to that point where you realize you're going to work past 5 because there is no time constraint at home. Right at 4 today, I was flipping through various movie channels when I came upon it. I saw the listing and I knew right away that I had to watch, a movie that I had only seen once, which is one more time than almost everyone else in the world.

Cool as Ice.

Yes, I said it. I watched Cool as Ice. For the second time. Let me give you a synopsis of the film. Vanilla Ice (a year after his explosion on the scene) plays Johnny Van Owen, a bad boy who comes from nowhere with no family. He seems to exist to just rap (badly) and dance (weirdly) at clubs, which is where he sees a goody-goody girl and decides he wants her. He rides around on cheesy Japanese motorcycles with his gang and no parents like him. He goes after said girl and, much to her parents' chagrin, she begins to actually like him. But get this... See, the girl's father was a cop who helped take down other corrupt cops and then went into the witness protection program. Now the bad guys have found him and it's up to Vanilla Ice to save the day. It's like Rebel Without A Cause meets My Blue Heaven with the production values of Plan 9 From Outer Space. Also, the director, David Kellogg has one of the great IMDB resumes, only directing this movie, Inspector Gadget, and lots and lots of Playboy videos.

But I feel Ice! I totally used to live only to bust sucker MCs and ride my neon yellow Yamaha. I used to start every sentence with either "Yo" or "Yup, yup". I used to have dark soulless eyes (like a doll's eye!) and say everything in a monotone. I used to be a white kid who had weird designs shaved into my high top fade with frosted tips. I used to wear overalls that had so many colors that it looked like Sherwin Williams had puked on them.

Seriously though, we actually liked this guy back in 1990. We were legitimately concerned with whether we should listen to him or MC Hammer at any given time. We didn't laugh because his name was so stupid. We were tired of Poison and Motley Crue and Def Leppard and, no matter what we think of N.W.A. now, gangsta rap wasn't hot in the suburbs until The Chronic. We think back to the greatness of 1992 with the emergence of Nirvana and Pearl Jam and Dre and Snoop, but those albums were made all the greater by what we were subjecting ourselves to prior to their release.

The next time you wonder why kids these days listen to whatever crap is popular on the radio, you remember that we took Robert Van Winkle seriously for a time. We allowed him to be paid an even million dollars to star in his own movie. We thought phrases like "Word to your mother" were badass. Ain't nobody innocent in this whole thing. I'm not ashamed of what I liked when I was younger! So what if I watched tons of Saved by the Bell and 90210? Oh... crap... Well, um... Yo, peace out!

Goats and Votes

• What I'm Watching/Listening To/Reading:
• I have to admit that I've come to like the Terminator show. It's grown into itself this season. Last night's episode used a Rashomon-style construct, but with enough flair to keep it from being just another Rashomon-style rip-off. It also had a big Rodriguez-esque November Sweeps ending. The point is that I used to run as much as a week behind on episodes, but now I make sure I watch it within a day or two.
• Olbermann was on The View, where he talked about how he doesn't vote. That's disappointing. His argument is that it serves as a symbol of impartiality. First, nobody thinks he's impartial. Second, I'm betting that Cronkite and Murrow voted.
• Random Thoughts/Links:
• When will people understand that you don't mess with animals! Even goats in a petting zoo would just as soon eat you as look at you.
• Jerome Bettis thinks the Ravens could be Super Bowl contenders. It is getting hard to remain only cautiously optimistic.
• Daily Rant:
• I just disrespect sleep.

No Diggity

• What I'm Watching/Listening To/Reading:
• The Heroes comments are a lot harder to come up with than for Lost, because the show is fairly straight-forward this season. They've basically gone back to the well and are trying to do the same thing they did in season one. It's changing a bit with the run-up to the events of the pilot this week and next. Not totally feeling it, but it's still entertaining.
• Thank God those bitches got knocked off of The Amazing Race.
• The Hadag Nachash concert was very good, if ear-destroying. A lot of their big songs are more Euro/disco (such as a couple to which Elisha linked last night), but they have an interesting vibe with a horn section and keyboards. It's kind of an old school Teddy Riley/Pharrell sound. By the way, I'm shooting for this to be the first post in the history of the internets to start out talking about Heroes and The Amazing Race and contain multiple Teddy Riley references.
• Random Thoughts/Links:
• The Ravens are really good. I mean really, really good. Doubtful they can take the Giants next week, but I'm psyched for the future and I think I can find four more wins to get them into the playoffs (especially with the wild card race being pathetic in the AFC).
• As promised the other day, I'm moving my hip-hop nostalgia into the frame of Jackson 5 samples. Great music begets great samples which begets other great songs. You already heard Kriss Kross' "Jump" which samples "I Want You Back" and Naughty By Nature's "O.P.P." which samples "ABC". You want some other great (and not so great) songs that sample the Jacksons? Jay-Z's "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)", M.C. Hammer's "Dancin' Machine", Vanilla Ice's "Dancin'", Mariah's cover of "I'll Be There", and (my personal favorite), the remix of "Take Me There" by Blackstreet (reference #2) and Mya featuring Mase and Blinky Blink. Of course, you can catch the great dance scene in Clerks II, with "ABC" (NSFW). Or just watch the original "I Want You Back".
• I freaking love that song. It makes me want to dance like this.
• Daily Rant:
• I think my mind has spun around so fast on this whole election thing that I'm getting dizzy. You have to think that the Republicans in Congress will have to work with Obama because of the size of his win and his huge popularity. And some of them have been okay, such as Lindsey Graham's complements on the Rahm Emanuel pick. However, they'll need a leader and who better than John McCain? If he wants to, he can be the bigger man and put a better face on the GOP than Sarah Palin can. I think people are waiting for the party to be the total joke that it became at the end of the campaign and neither Palin nor Jindal (exorcism? really?) can probably help with that. There's always room for a senior senator to transcend partisan politics to some degree. After all, even though he never got the nomination, Edward Kennedy has become an elder statesman. Yes, that's right, wait for it, he's been Teddy, ready with the one-two check-up (I worked it around to #3!).

Snake Fish

Granted, it's been a long week, but after Dear Husband passed out BEFORE MIDNIGHT, I have taken it upon myself to pick up the Random Babbles pen and jot down a few thoughts for our lovely listening audience. I hope you enjoy.

For many reasons, this has been a monumental week. For those of you who know me well, you know that Tuesday night was pretty exciting in the RB household, and the picture, signed and dated on 9/30/2004, that sits on our entertainment center over the television is just that much cooler (and no, it isn't DH's father - yes, people have asked that... not recently, but they have). And while tonight's festivities aren't quite as meaningful or monumental as the election results, they were still pretty awesome.

Tonight, my place of employment, a synagogue, hosted one of Israel's top (and I mean top) hip hop bands, Hadag Nachash, which, in Hebrew, means "snake fish". Like much of Israeli music, the music is filled with cultural influences from all over the world and is more than just hip hop - it's also a bit of rock, jazz, and funk. The lyrics are rife with political messages, not a surprise from a band whose name can be switched around to spell the word "Nahag Chadash," a new driver. With a leftist political message, Hadag Nachash puts into music the thoughts and hopes of Israel's youth, railing against corrupt politicians, questioning existance in such a dynamic land, and expressing hope for peace.

More than anything else, more than getting to see this band I have followed for years, more than meeting the musicians and getting my brand new t-shirt signed by all but three of the eight member group (so bummed to have missed Shlomi Alon - he makes me miss playing the sax), I watched as hundreds of kids, teens, young adults, and adults pour into a synagogue on a Sunday night to watch the band. Sure, the ark was covered with a tablecloth to help with the allusion that we were in some cool hip club or disco and weren't actually in a place where just yesterday congregants gathered for Shabbat morning services, but really, with the cool funky lighting, you could actually see the outlines of some of the Torah scrolls. The juxtaposition of the holy with the secular was pretty spectacular. Close to 900 (or maybe more - I never did get the final tally) people were swaying, jumping, fist pumping, and dancing to some of my favorite music. Sure, most of it was in Hebrew, so who knows how much of they understood - heck, even with my pretty decent grasp of Hebrew, I still need the lyrics in front of me and a dictionary at my side.

Somehow, I have a feeling that those in the audience, especially those who are in middle school and high school, might just remember this night the next time they open a prayer book on a Shabbat morning. They were exposed, even if not for the first time, to an Israel not relegated to terse reports on CNN or articles about bombs in the newspaper. They saw the Israel that I love - the Israel of great literature, great humanity, and great music.

Rather than go on and on, I thought I'd list some of my favorite Hadag Nachash songs - I'll try not to go on for too long. All of their CDs are available on iTunes, so you can get a taste of even more. I hope you enjoy!

• California (Be'ezrat HaJam, With the Help of Jam) - for obvious reasons! Love the surfer music with Hebrew lyrics :)
• Hine Ani Ba (Be'ezrat HaJam) - it didn't hurt that it was one of the main songs in "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" (I'll admit that one of the big reasons I convinced myself to see the movie was the fact that it had four Hadag Nachash songs in it), but it's a great, upbeat dance song - just fun!
• Shirat HaSticker (the Sticker Song) (Chomer Mekomi, Local Material) - completely co-oped by Jewish educators all over North America, it's a fun song written by Israeli novelist David Grossman, using the slogans of Israeli bumper stickers
• Rak Po (Only Here) (Chomer Mekomi) - a good example of different influences in their music - a song about the very strange existance of living in Israel
  

I could keep going on and on, but I won't (DH will make fun of me for my long post as it is)... I wish everyone a good week - Shavuah Tov!

Ewoks Take To The Streets

• What I'm Watching/Listening To/Reading:
• My sincerest apologies as I realized today that I had not yet watched the new season of Celebrity Rehab, but I watched the opener today. You may remember that last season, Rehab was my favorite new show besides Kid Nation. Dr. Drew is so serious about it that it transcends the feel of a lot of the other "Celebreality"-type shows, such as many that I saw Joel McHale make fun of last night. This season should be good again, because of the doctor and his staff, although Gary Busey promises to be annoying as the crazy guy who thinks he's clean and some sort of guru. Can't wait for him to rip out someone's endocrine system. Also, Stephen Adler, the original drummer for G'n'R is f***ed up.
• I watched Wednesday's episode of Countdown, which has two notable segments -- one that talks about reaction to the election from around the world, the other which is a retrospective on Tuesday night (which was a bit of a tearjerker in a good way). Pay attention to the video of people celebrating in the streets of Chicago, Atlanta, and all around the world. It's the end of the Return of the Jedi Special Edition!
• Random Thoughts/Links:
• I admit, I didn't get my McCain essay quite right. It was a bit lazy. Whereas I had the Obama one written in my head for days, I started at a certain point with McCain and just let it flow. I do think that I still like him, especially considering his gracious concession speech. I meant more to say that he has to re-earn my trust on the "maverick" thing. I won't buy that until he proves it again.
• After I hit the ABC video the other day, I decided to drop a triple play on you with these other videos from the early '90s. We have ABC's competition, Vanilla Ice's competition, and a classic for old time's sake. Do you think that John McCain would have scored more points if he introduced himself as the Miggidy-miggidy-miggidy-miggidy-Mac?
• That may have been a disservice to Naughty By Nature. I'm a big believer in the fact that you can make a hit record by just sampling a Jackson 5 tune. More on that tomorrow.
• Your List Suck!: Top 5 Teams After Week 9:
• 5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- Just know that I don't believe in this team at all.
• 4. Carolina Panthers -- They have a legit shot to upset the NFC East and get into the Super Bowl.
• 3. Pittsburgh Steelers -- I didn't believe in this team a couple of weeks ago, but I do now.
• 2. N.Y. Giants -- What can you say about the Giants and the Titans? They're both very good.
• 1. Tennessee

Sticky?

• What I'm Watching/Listening To/Reading:
• The only thing I really did today besides work was to see Joel McHale do stand-up in DC and then watch The Soup when I got home. He's a very funny guy, obviously. I enjoyed immensely when he referred to Sarah Palin as the "Sanjaya of the Republican Party".
• Time and Newsweek are sold out everywhere and the President-Elect also appears on the covers of everything from People to US Weekly to The Economist to Business Week to Men's Health. When it gets to the point that he shows up on Highlights, I'm calling foul.
• Random Thoughts/Links:
• I got in trouble during the primaries for insinuating that Appalachia went more heavily for Hillary because they were less educated/intolerant/racist. So, I offer no comment as I show you this map of the only counties in the U.S. where McCain outperformed Bush.
• This is a crazy ending to a Rockets-Blazers game from yesterday, as three apparent game-winning shots are hit within two seconds.
• Daily Rant:
• What is with my fantasy QBs? I draft Derek Anderson, he sucks all year. So I pick up Trent Edwards and he gets a concussion. Then I turn it over to Kyle Orton and he sprains his ankle badly. Finally, I decide to go back to Anderson and he gets benched. I picked up Flacco (Flacco?!) and I'm praying that my curse doesn't hurt the Ravens.

Like The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea

• What I'm Watching/Listening To/Reading:
• It's been a reasonably bland season of Survivor, but that changed for at least one episode tonight. Burnett somehow finds a way to keep it fresh every time. The twist tonight obviously altered the trajectory of the game and it made for a heck of a lot of tension. So who becomes the favorite? I find it hard to believe that Kenny can trust Suzie over the long term and it would be too easy for Corinne and Charlie to pull Matty and/or Sugar in when they finally merge, especially since Sugar knows that Ken lied. I don't see anyone I love. Maybe Matty, who was my dark horse from the beginning.
• If you didn't know yet, tonight on Grey's Anatomy was the last episode for Brooke Smith (Erica Hahn). The story of her dismissal is interesting. So Isiah Washington gets fired over the whole homophobia flap and now this. More importantly though, an ending like that and the addition of a couple of new characters (which would make three for the year) portends tremendous "jump the shark" potential. We shall see.
• We watched You Don't Mess With The Zohan last night. It's actually exactly what I would have expected. The Israeli stereotype humor is really funny the first time they do it. Then, the movie gets super boring. Hey, a little bit of funny is more than you can say about any Adam Sandler movie since 50 First Dates.
• Caught the SNL special from Monday night. The new stuff was pretty lame, except for the real Palin talking about revoking NBC's license, which was more creepy than anything else. They showed all of the skits from this year's election (except the horrible 1st debate one and the funny 3rd debate one). Weird thing is, forget even the primaries, the stuff from two weeks ago felt like it was ten years old. My mindset is so different now.
• Random Thoughts/Links:
• I'm retiring the cliche of calling someone "the man". After this week, nobody else can be "the man" anymore.
• My predictions were basically in line with everyone else's, so it's no surprise that I was relatively close. I missed on IN and it looks like Omaha will go to President-Elect Obama as well. I may have bought the hype on GA, but it does look to be closer than it seemed on Tuesday.
• Can't think of anything else, so just check this out. 1991. The beat is actually pretty good and you have to love the kid rocking the old school Pistons gear.
• Daily Rant:
• I followed the dumb thing for ten months. What do I do with my time now? I'm this close to checking out the Pollster trends for hall monitor.