Sunday, February 13, 2011

Worst of the Worst: #46, Material Girls

So I found myself at 11PM on a Saturday night, watching a Hilary/Haylie Duff movie and wondering where my life went so wrong. I just wanted to get through this list of the hundred worst movies, only twenty-nine to go including this one, but I sat in front of the TV, my brain slowly melting and leaking from every orifice on my face. The Duff sisters not even trying to act, Brent Spiner showing up again as a bad guy (as he did in The Master of Disguise), Anjelica Huston somehow being on the screen. Everything had gone so very, very wrong.

The Duffs play sisters who are heiresses to a cosmetic fortune. When their company comes under fire for doing something bad that could have easily been disproved by a monkey, they lose all of their money and have to clear their names. They do something or other wacky to expose the bad guy and everything's great. They learn an important lesson: money is more important than anything else! That may not be what the movie is trying to do, but that's what it succeeds at. The big fear the sisters face is that they'll have to sell the company for $60 million each. Instead, they not only end up successful, but they take a guy who works at the free legal society and turn him into their corporate lawyer.

And so I watched this slapstick mess of stupidity -- lines that fail as laugh lines are often accompanied by wacky sound effects -- that I had DVR-ed off of MTV and wondered, not for the first time, why I was doing this. But then, it ended. I survived. So, eh. On to the next one.

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