I rarely do this, but I have an important emergency announcement. Tonight, 10PM, A&E: the premiere of Steven Seagal, Lawman. It is a reality show that follows Seagal as he moonlights as a deputy in Louisiana. I have heard from multiple sources that it obliterates the unintentional comedy scale.
Now, back to calling everyone I know to ask them to change their outgoing voice mail message to only numbers.